It's finally over

Reagan's surgery is done, so I think I can relax a little. We got to the hospital at 7:30 this morning so that I could hold her before she went into surgery. She was so alert and watched me the whole time. At 9:00 I had to put her back so that they could draw blood. It was so painful to hear her cry! Then the anesthesiologist came in. He starts off by saying, "I'm sure you've heard this is a minor surgery, but it's not. Open heart surgery is a major operation." I think I liked it better when I was being lied to. Surgery was scheduled for 10:00 so at 9:30 they started to intubate her. I sobbed as I listened to her scream because the tube was too big, and as her heart rate dropped to the low 40's. They finally got the right size in and let me come over to see her. Her mouth had blood all around it, and her chest was still heaving. We walked with her down to the operating room and they let Michael and I give her a kiss. She just stared at me so pitiful and helpless, and it broke my heart that I couldn't be with her and comfort her. The operation ended at about 12:00 because it took 8 people 45 minutes to get a special IV in her. We were allowed to go see her at 12:30. They had given her a medication to paralyze her so that she wouldn't move around too much or pull anything out. She looked beautiful and had her tongue sticking out under her ventilator. Her vitals are great and they are going to keep her sedated on morphine for the next couple of days. Michael and  I are exhausted  from all the stress, and so relieved. I don't know if I will be able to hold it together if Bailey has to go through this as well.